Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize