My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's Friday. Sex?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
