I'm jealous of your bromance
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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