he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
