we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
