did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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