i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
