now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
