Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
