tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize