so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
