kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
