Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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