OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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