I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
