Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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