I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
