So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I want a musical about memes.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize