Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
