he told me I talked like a deaf person
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
