I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize