I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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