Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me