waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
