My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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