I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it