It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
