I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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