i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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