ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
