And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
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There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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