Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
