After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
