The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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