He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
