I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
