I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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