If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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