Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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