Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If that was your dad, he is hot
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
