I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
