its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
