apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the condom got lost in my hair
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
