Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Vodka?
Forever.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
