So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
