We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
