stop calling my apartment porn island.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
