just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
