We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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