you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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