Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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