He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Randomize
