Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
