last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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