The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i think i have two assholes
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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