the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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