I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
