Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
