well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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