I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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